My boyfriend just told me the other day he struggles with watching porn every day. I was extremely compassionate about it because I understand the struggle but also explained I do not agree with it or think it is healthy. He also said that he doesn’t think it’s healthy and it’s bad on relationships but that he is working on other things and this is struggle now. I don’t think he is trying to change. I really don’t know what to say or do though. I feel like I showed him a lot of love, but me just sitting here not doing anything I feel is kind of supporting his habit. I am Christian and he was raised in fairly Christian home but with a more liberal view on sex. I am waiting for marriage- that wasn’t a value for himself or his family but he completely respects me and doesn’t even try to go there. Because that is a difference of ours sometimes I feel like I’m asking him to be different for me but he has stated it shouldn’t be a “need” and it is his choice to be with me. But anyway, it’s like he’s using porn to fill that need or something and I feel somewhat responsible even though that is a lie. I do know though that even if he was getting sex…that habit most likely still will be there because I think he was exposed to porn as a kid.
Please help! I don’t know what to do or say…I can’t just shun him, that’s not love at all but I don’t know if I can just keep things the same and let him deal in his own time. I do know that he is always challenging himself to grow to be a healthy person but he doesn’t seek God just challenges himself through others and conversations- so I don’t know if he would even ask God for help in this area which I believe is the only way to get help. |