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charlesp
Posts:3
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| 11/12/2009 6:59 PM |
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| As we get close to gift giving time I try as I might to go with the flow. I've always been one who plans months ahead for just the right gift for my wife and come up with elaborate surprises. Over the years I've just decided that a true gift is what you give without the expectation of what you "get". Although, after more than 20 years it's hard to keep subtle pains from clouding the view. For the last 3 birthdays my wife has given me absolutely nothing (not even a card), and tells me, "I just never know what you'd like, so go out and by yourself a gift!" At Christmastime I usually am given a giftcard to once again "go out and get yourself something you want." Several years ago when I was asked what I wanted, I even provided a sale flyer and said, "THIS, right here!" Of course, then, I was told that I went to that store and couldn't fiqure out what is was that you wanted....(no attempt to show the flyer to a sales associate for information). I get great joy at linking my wife's likes/tastes to her gift selections. I feel this shows how deeply I understand and know my wife's personality. When I get such response it makes me feel that after nearly 25 years, my wife has no clue who I am, my likes, my tastes....and even when I give clues or items that I need, it never happens. Am I being selfish? Should it make no difference to me and just continue with the joy I get selecting just the right things? |
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kat
Posts:2
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| 11/22/2009 4:04 PM |
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| Sounds like we have similar situations. I have resorted to behaviors similar to your wife's. I guess it is because my husband ends up getting whatever he wants anyway. It seems that there is very little thought that goes into what he gets me. After 22 years, I thought it would get better. I was wrong. I guess I'm expecting too much from him. Maybe I am just supposed to be thankful that he comes home every night, right? |
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cquad
Posts:1
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| 12/10/2009 2:14 PM |
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| It sounds like you guys would benfit from "The 5 Love Languages" book. It sounds like your love language is Gift Giving wehre as your spouses may be have a different love language. Seriously, I recommend looking this book up and talking to your spouse about it. |
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