If she doesn't want to see a counselor keep seeing the counselor alone. Stay with the same one if you are able because they have the most info and experience with your wife. In November of last year God began pressing me to have my identity seperate from what my husband thought of me and what I thought my husband thought of me. It has strengthened our relationship because I am no longer placing pressure on him to make me feel better. You need to be secure in yourself and not make decisions based off of what your wife is doing. God's standards need to be the standard you work from and that way no matter what your wife does, you will know you are doing what you should and being who you should be. Her issues may have nothing to do with you. Changes occur in people, she may be going through changes in her biology that are impacting her relational side, if this is the case then she isn't going to change because of what you do. Even if it isn't biological, you need to choose a place and stick in it no matter what her reaction. As far as how to treat her and behave around her, it sounds like maybe you should draw some boundaries.
Here is a link to a short but informative exerpt on boundaries. Check it out, it helped me establish boundaries so that I could enforce the standards and expectations I have. This helps for clearer communication.
http://christiancounselinggroup.net/resources/boundaries.pdf
Remember life is 10% circumstance and 90% state of mind.
Some of the most stable and functional people I know of have gone through more crushing circumstances than anyone should have to live in.
Romans 5:1-4 "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. |