Shaunti Feldhahn

Yes you can!  I would suggest that you seek out a group called Al-Anon which is a 12-step group for family and friends of addicts (it is specifically for family and friends of alcoholics but in recent years, many of the members are there because of their relationships with those addicted to drugs other than alcohol).  Al-Anon is about YOU -- it will take the focus off the addict and will help you find serenity for yourself.  It is NOT a group for whining about the addict or for talking about the addict--if you get into a group that does that, then go find another group.  I have seen "al-anonics" who are still in relationships with active addicts but they have found peace and serenity in their own lives.  One of the slogans in Al-Anon is that "you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it."  A friend of mine in Al-Anon was married to a man who not only was an alcohol and drug addict but was also a phyically abusive spouse.  He went into treatment and worked the AA 12-step program and they were able to rebuild their marriage.  I have never seen a more successful marriage anywhere.  Yes, it will take time to rebuild trust but your fellow Al-Anon members will give you their own experience, strength and hope to help you in that process.

I hope you will seek out Al-Anon and become active and work the 12-steps.  As we say, "It works if you work it!"

God bless and keep your chin up -- there is hope!

From a recovering addict myself, I agree with the previuos reply.  First and formost, I hope he is recovering for himself.  If he is in recovery for you and/or the marriage it may not last.  Al Anon is a must for You!  txterri's response is right on.  Keep going until you find one that supports you yet does not continue to keep you a life long member of the pity party. 
Please believe me that what you have experienced in the past, most likely was hell. that is one of the most destructive aspects of any addiction is that it can destroy any relationship. I honor you for being there through the rehab and I pray that you may heal from the pain of living with an addict.  As we say in recovery " It's simle but not easy."  Your felings are justified, but only you can change them.  If you want this marriage to work then fight for it!!! Just as he is taking it One day at a time, so must you.

May God embrace you in His healing, loving arms and give you the strength and the courage to heal as well as the gift of forgiveness for your husband.

God, grant me the serenity (peace) to accept the things I can not change (your husband and his addicton). The courage to accept the things I can ( your response to your husband). And the wisdom to know the difference.